Romance in a relationship is what keeps it on all four wheels. A relationship simply cannot grow and thrive without it. Men and women were made so differently that what comes natural to one, is a learning process for the other. It works both directions with different things. The key is learning to grow together. Finding out what the other person needs and putting actions behind the new-found knowledge. When you center your attentions and energies on the other person, it has a wonderful way of not only putting your relationship into overdrive, but a strange way of coming back to you. And that is wonderful too! Romance is the key. Here are a few helpful tips for you both:
She Needs - Communication - A study says that the average woman uses 25,000 words a day and five tones of speech, while the average man uses only 12,000 words and three tones. "Men are talk-impaired, relatively speaking," the study points out. That is why a woman can talk on the phone to her friend for hours and a man will get right to the point of the conversation and immediately terminate the call. By the time a man has gotten home from work, he has used up all of his words at the office or throughout his day away. At dinner, his mate still has 5,000 words left and they need to be heard by someone. Guess who? ;)
She needs to talk to her man. Communication is romance to her. She wants to hear about your life, men, and share her day with you. This is so important. Take time to talk.
He Needs - Respect - A man needs to be respected. By his fellow employees, by his children, by his friends and especially by his girl. Respect is part of a man's love language. In the same way that a woman needs love, a man needs respect. That is the equivalent of love for him. He needs to know that he's needed, he needs to be considered, that what he does matters and makes a difference. Respect is vital to a man. Tell him how much you appreciate what he does for the family. Stick little notes of gratitude in his coat for him to find. It will make a huge difference in his countenance.
The next time his voice raises over something that you may have said, ladies, chances are he feels disrespected. Ask him about it. His stature will change for the better, his love for you will grow and romance will follow.
She Needs - Her man to spend time with the children - There is nothing sexier to a woman than a man that takes time to spend with their children. I know that sounds strange, but it is absolutely true. Ask your wife. She'll tell you. Take the kids to the park, wrestle with them, talk to them and read them a story when you tuck them into bed. Giving attention to your children is like giving attention to her. She will notice and her love for you will deepen.
He Needs - A recreational partner - He loves his girl to do things with him. To go to movies, to go camping, to just sit and enjoy a television program. He needs to have you take an interest in what he is interested in. If you're looking for more romance from your man, ladies, take a pro-active interest in him. We men eat that up!
She Needs - HELP! - A woman needs a man who takes some of the chores off of her shoulders. Do this, men, and you will find her looking you over more often. It shows a gal that you care and conveys that you love her. I'm not trying to turn us men into little house slaves. Just suggesting that taking some initiative around the home without being asked will turn her on. Try it.
Here's an additional tip for you, guys. I won't charge you extra either. Make her a cup of coffee or tea without being asked. Romance her with a surprise backrub. Buy her a little gift. She'll respond to your attention in very positive ways.
You Both Need - Encouragement - Take time to give each other props. Concentrate on the other person's strengths. Purposefully give words of encouragement. Never tear each other down. Always build each other up. Do you each have a dream? Be each other's cheerleader and let them know you're behind them 100%.
You Both Need - Date Nights - Courting shouldn't end after dating. The excitement of dating each other is something that should be a part of your week until the day you die. Take a day each week or two and go out to a meal, a movie, a play, a romantic walk. Bring her flowers. Try something new. Laugh together. Tell him he looks especially handsome tonight. Date nights will keep the home fire burning and keep the romance on a solid, steady course.
I could go on and on about successful relationships and how to spark the romance. I've been married for 21-years as of 1985. I'm not exactly a newlywed. I know what works because I've taken the time to, first, find out and, second, to take action and implement the great stuff I learned into my marriage. Most of my learning was taught by the School of Hard Knocks. The thing is, I eventually got it and boy, am I happy that I did. My relationship with my wife is more red-hot than when we first met.
So, start with those things. Work on your relationship with one another daily. Find out what makes each other tick. Learn to love and respect one another. Remember two important things: love is a verb and your mate is not your enemy. Romance is a key to each other's heart. The pay-off will be a life-long love.
Here is some great material that I personally recommend. These books will expand on what I've covered and make your love and romance something that would make Romeo and Juliet envious. I know from experience. My wife and I have been through all of these books on building a stronger relationship and helping us understand the differences between us. They've helped tremendously.
If you are determined to make a great relationship that is brimming with passion and romance, you will succeed. Have a happy life....and get down to the ocean to keep that fire burning. ;)